Friday, October 2

History always repeats itself

1 Samuel 7-8 tells a story of the people of God. They follow him, fall away, get yelled at by a prophet, repent, and then follow him again. And it's not a one time thing, they do it over and over and over and over.... well, you get the point.

If I were the God of these people, I would be so disgusted with them that I would want to disown them. I would want to wipe them out or bring curses and plagues upon them. I would unleash my wrath upon them, sparing no one. How could my people, the people that I created, made multiple promises to, delivered out of slavery, blessed with so many things, how could they consciously or unconsciously turn away from me and worship other gods?

This is how I felt last night.
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Looking back at my reaction, I am ashamed of myself. My reaction speaks loudly about what lies in my heart. I am still full of pride, still not loving, and still not forgiving. My reaction shows me that I would rather show others a facade of anger instead of my real feelings of pain and sorrow. My reaction taught me something about who God is too.

What kind of King would keep giving his followers second, third, fourth, ... infinite chances? What kind of ruler would set aside his own pain and pride for the sake of his people? What kind of Father would sacrafice his only Son for people who don't even acknowledge his existence? What kind of God would keep loving me despite how many times I neglect him?

...THIS is my God.

8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.

9 He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;

10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.

11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;

12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;

14 for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.

- Psalms 103:8-14