To my disappointment, nothing has changed. It's been exactly one week since my not-so-pleasant exchange with a friend. I remember him telling me specific steps he was going to take to ensure that he would not slip into his old habits, but after observing and questioning him, none of these steps were even implemented. I became flustered and annoyed. Just in the span of one week, my annoyance turned to anger, and my anger to apathy.

Through all of this, I was reminded of my relationship with the Lord. My heart sank. So often I pray that he will change me so that I can love his people, I pray that he will give me the heart to yearn for Him, to seek him, and to meet with him. I'm eager to change, ready, willing, and anticipating the results, but even so, I remain motionless. One might ask ...Why? How can you pray for God to work in your life, yet do nothing? Honestly, I don't know. I want to take action now, I want to continue to walk in the ways of the Lord, to seek him daily, to delight in him. For some reason, I'm just not. Something isn't right, I get that, but... I, I just don't know.

I do know this: Even though I fail so many times, God still calls me back. Through my weaknesses and inadequacies, He will make himself known. The trials that come my way will not break me down, but they will build me up in Christ. And through it all, God is right beside me.

On that day they will say to Jerusalem,
"Do not fear, O Zion;
do not let your hands hang limp.
The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."
- Zephaniah 3:16-17